I originally thought that this post would be an easy one to write! I had a ton of ideas running through my mind, yet every time I have tried to write this post, I couldn’t seem to get the words right. How do you put into words what being a Mom look like? It’s the hardest, yet most rewarding things I’ve ever done. It is constantly evolving and I am always trying to better myself as a person and as a mother.
Being a Mom can sometimes look…
Stressed: Being a Mom comes with tremendous responsibility and worry. You constantly think through your every move when it comes to your child and when you think you’ve made a decision, you second guess yourself again. It’s a vicious cycle. If you’re not worried about whether they weigh enough, are tall enough or if they are meeting milestones, you are worried about how many times they’ve pooped for the day (is it too often or not often enough?), if they’re eating healthy enough, or if you are being the best parent that you can be. It’s a constant worry…so yes, sometimes I looked stressed.
Messy: Sometimes as a Mom I look messy. Some days, it’s because there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. Some days, a pony tail and little to no make up become my wardrobe. Even on the days that I put effort in to getting ready and looking nice, it never takes long to get messy. From a random sneeze, to messy hands, to the face wiped on my shirt – even on my best days, I still feel messy! Let’s not even talk about how messy the house can seem now that someone scatters toys from one end of the house to the other.
Frustrated: Whether it’s because of the screaming that ensues from our 40 minute ride home (I repeat – 40 minutes of screaming!) or because plans always seem to change, sometimes being a Mom means looking frustrated. Although I willingly put my family first and their needs ahead of mine, it doesn’t mean that it’s not frustrating at times. There are jobs that I would love to have, but refuse to take because of the hours or the time I would spend away from my family. There are appointments that are missed because my little one needs me more. The dream job, the night’s out or the hair color and cut will have to wait until another day…but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel frustrated.
But even with all of the dressed down, second guessing, frustrating days, more often than not, I look…
In Love: This may be the one constant out of all of them. Being a Mom means being so in love! Just when I thought that our little family was perfect with just Brian and I, I can’t imagine my life without McKenzie in it. It now feels complete and whole. I often look at her and stare in awe of the little person that Brian and I have created. I could hold her and kiss her cheeks for hours. My heart could literally explode with the love that I feel for her.
Proud: Being a Mom means being proud…always…for the tiniest of things. Of course we are proud when she does something new or accomplishes something great, but we’re always proud. From learning how toys work, to new words, to climbing the stairs, I’m proud. It’s the little things though as well. I’m proud of her when she understands the way life works – like when I take away her new Magna Doodle to clear the screen for her and she understands that I’m not taking it away for good, but rather to assist her. It’s not a huge step, but I’m proud nonetheless. It’s a moment that tells me that she’s growing, and maturing, and understanding the world around her a little better each day.
Exhilarated: Watching McKenzie grow and become her own little person is exhilarating. It makes all of the challenging moments seem worthwhile. It’s an instant boost to your Mom morale…like you’re actually doing something right. Being a Mom makes the world seem a little better. Seeing the world through McKenzie’s eyes gives me a deeper sense of purpose and place in this crazy world we live in!
Grateful: By far, I consider McKenzie to be my greatest accomplishment to date. I am thankful to have been given a beautiful healthy daughter and that God has blessed me with the responsibility of being her Mom. Regardless of what being a Mom looks like, I am always thankful and happy that I can call myself, McKenzie’s Mom. Even on the toughest of days, I wouldn’t change it for the world!
Happy: The happiness I feel is intense. I smile more and laugh more as a Mom. With McKenzie, I am in my element. I swear McKenzie and I have a secret bond. I can just look at her and she laughs. Then I laugh and the harder I laugh, the harder she laughs. It’s the most adorable thing in the world. Some days, I can make a silly sound and she’ll go crazy. If Brian makes the same sound, she just stares at him. It’s just not as funny. It breaks his heart that she makes him work so hard for things, but it’s also kind of cute. Cute that her and I have this secret thing…that we can laugh for no reason at all…and that…makes me so happy!
Being a Mom ultimately means being all of the above and then some! I may be one or all of these at once. It’s a toss-up, but that’s what makes motherhood such an adventure and a challenge. I am looking forward to everything else motherhood has in store for me.